Rollin wit the Lynch Mob

The title has nothing to do with anything... it's just the song i'm listening to...

So, the LSAT is behind me... I wrote my letter requesting/thanking folks for writting letters of recommendation. That task wasn't too horrendous, then i wrote my addendum stating the reason for my messed up grades between 1994 and 1997. That was a little bit more difficult... i mean on the one hand I wanted to be honest but at the same time I didn't want to sound like i was begging for sympathy. It was hard to say just enough without putting them all in my business, but i didn't want to downplay how messed up my situation was. It ended up something like: my grades sucked because I spent two years getting my ass beat and my self esteem shattered. I left for a minute and then decided that i had to go back. I went down there, went to see my abuser, told him how i felt and moved on with my life....

I usually try to block those memories but i really thought about it this weekend. In some ways that experience was the best thing that could have ever happened to me... I know that sounds so fucked up... but I mean it. I was at the lowest point in my life. Everyone had turned their backs on me with maybe two exceptions. I learned alot about myself and about other people. There are people out there that I will never trust behind that shit. And then there are the folks that I owe my life to because they gave me the strength to get out, places to stay, money, a shoulder to cry on, and most importantly unconditional, unjudgemental love.

Over the next week or so I need to work on my applications and make sure there are no essays I've overlooked... and i need to finish up my personal statement. Once that is done, I'll feel much better.