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my cat is dead. i wanted to find some poetic way to say that... but right now i'm sad and angry and i don't give a shit about being profound.

I spend an hour a week in therapy, talking about my fear of death, my fear of being too attached and not being able to let go, my fear that i am going to have to watch everyone i care about die and then at 7:12 am my cat lays down at my feet and dies... and there's not a damn thing i can do.

helpless... completely and utterly helpless... no soothing words came to mind. my body froze so i couldn't even reach down to pet or comfort him... nothing...

i'm sorry, scrams. i didn't know what to do... i didn't know how to help. but i love you even if i couldn't express it then.

RIP Scramtana. I'll stick my entire head in Brooks' cup for you tonight... I miss you, kitty most gritty