Be careful what you ask.

It never ceases to amaze me that someone can say something very innocently and unmaliciously and it can stab you in the heart like a dagger. I was just sitting on my couch when Mr. Dagger comes strolling by. He looked very innocent for awhile and I figured he wasn't there for me (although I should have known better since I am the only one in my house with feelings). So Mr. Dagger starts a convo with me about this and that... and I noticed that he was moving closer and closer to me on the couch, so finally I'm like you know what... let me let him stab me. So I ask a question and up jumps Mr. Dagger, straight thru the heart (*insert sigh here*).

Soooo... what does that mean? I mean I knew what was gonna happen, but I asked anyway. Why? I think it has to do with the difference between "needing to know" and "wanting to know". I did not WANT to know the answer to my question, but i needed to know. I think I spend a lot of my life doing tat same thing. I was blessed (or cursed) with the gift of understanding. I read people's minds, inadvertantly. I know that sounds like "woo woo" nonsense, but it's true. Always has been.

The good thing is that I understand that some people need to be who they are and you can't change them. Some people need to use other people, some people need to hurt people, some people have to be liars and some have to be jerks. I used to try to change those people... I used to want to help them, but I've realized that that isn't my place... so now I let them be and, as a result, I end up knowing they're going to hurt me and... sucking it up and dealing with it.

The question is (and I NEED to know this) does that make me stronger or weaker?