The Trouble with Being Myself

The problem is nobody likes me. They like the person they think i should be, they like the person that bends over backwards to help them, but "me", I get on people's nerves and need constant attention. I know why... I played second fiddle since my freshman year of high school... never had too many of my own friends, and even in those circles i was more of a sidekick that set up jokes or made jokes at my own expense. Since birth everyone always wanted to watch me do something. She's so smart - listen to her, she's so cute - watch her, she's in a play - everyone go to it, she's got a dance recital - bring out the troops. The truth of the matter is that in my home life, it has always been about me and in my dealings with my peers, it's rarely about me. For the most part i don't seek the spotlight. There is a select group of my friends that I ask (DEMAND) attention from, to be sure, but that's really about it. I don't seek praise at work, always wanted to be behind the scenes on radio, never "dressed to impressed", danced on tables, or even spoke loud to be seen (episodes of drunkeness don't count)... but for whatever reason I'm just not likable.


To a certain degree it bothers me, because i mean, who doesn't want to be liked. But at the same time it pisses me off. I mean the truth of the matter is I shouldn't ask questions if i don't want to know the answer. I'm quickly learning that.