So i prayed before i went to sleep last night. I asked for guidance on this new thing i'm working on and what direction i should take. What do i get? A dream that i'm dating Chris Webber. What in the world am i supposed to do with that?

Well, the first portion of my plan is in effect. I will start my new job on May 5! Now I just need to do all the other stuff that has to be done!

At this point, I have some things in the works... That's really all I can say about it right now. I am so afraid that I will put too much pressure on myself by telling people so this little project will be a secret. It's going to take a lot of planning and hard work but I know I will pull it off. It's cool too!
Before you get to thinking too hard, I'm not pregnant and I'm not getting married anytime soon that i know of. This is just me doing something that I have been wanting to do for awhile. With that said, if i should be moody, angry, depressed, ecstatic, overwhelmed, overjoyed, MIA or any other of a multitude of emotions, please bear with me while i am under construction.

Positivity


Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT a pessimist! I think that my outlook on life is generally positive :) It's funny how people who have to defend themselves from being called pessimists usually refer to themselves as "realists." Here's my take on the situation. A realist is someone who sees things the way they "are" but doesn't acknowledge the fact that positive thinking could change that "reality" very quickly.


I think that I am stuck in a rut (like I haven't been saying that for 6 years). I spend too much time surrounded by people that don't want to change their realities. They are content to walk down the same path and make the same mistakes.

In my opinion, it's one thing to be ignorant, it's completely different when the truth is right in front of you and you choose not to acknowledge it. People continue to walk around with blinders on, purposely ignoring what is going on in the world and how it affects them. These people FRIGHTEN me.

It's time for everyone (even the "realists") to wake up and see what's really going on out there. Pick up a book, a newspaper, something! Figure out what's going on so you can make real decisions. Question things once in awhile, the government, religion, yourself . The mindless sheep mentality is getting old quickly and it's leading this country straight into the ground.

I think that one of my biggest problems is that I give things too much thought. I have been seriously looking into the whole move to the west coast. Yesterday two things occured to me. The first is that when I leave for California, it will probably be the last time I see my dad and possibly my mom. That's so morbid isn't it? But I know it's true. The thought of losing them scares me but the thought of not being close if something were to happen is even worse. I wish I could learn to accept death.I guess one day I will have no choice, but I hate the fact that I am so preoccupied with it that I am not able to focus on the "good". The other thing that occurred to be, is that getting married is going to be a nightmare if we move. I have no doubt in my mind that it can be done, but the idea of planning something from thousands of miles away is intimidating to say the least.