Things in my life are starting to pick up... sort of. I'm still stuck at my job but at least I am looking forward to my trip next month. I wish i could say that i've had some sort of revelation about the meaning of life or something like that ... but no such luck. i will say that i have a sort of new resolution that I am working towards. I've been hearing alot lately about the possible complications of being overweight (no it is not the first time i have heard this - it's just starting to hit closer to home). I've decided that i really need to do something about it and my first step is a nutritionist. The thought of that absolutely freaks me out, but i can't seem to figure out why. I guess i always worry that doctors will judge me or look down on me. I guess if that's the case, i need a new doctor?
Nevertheless, tomorrow i make my first appointment and start my goal of losing 50 pounds. That part scares me too. I mean not so much the number, but the thought of all that I stand to lose if i fail.
Sometimes i think about how great life will be when i lose the weight. Heads will turn again. Clothes will fit right! Ultimately, people will treat me differently. But is that what i want? I mean if suddenly my boyfriend wants to go to clubs with me or take me out to dinner how should that make me feel? Was i not good enough before? why am i a different person now? One thing is for sure, i need to make sure that i take care of me and make sure that i stay healthy, regardless of what everyone else says or does.