The More Things Change...
blah blah blah
I'm not happy and i'm not gonna be happy anytime soon... and i'm entitled to that
Saturday, June 19, 2004
No Title
I've been feeling like crap lately... and that's an understatement. The thing that sux is that i'm not at liberty to say why in this forum. My *other* journal is seeing a lot of action these days... a lot more than i'm getting, but i digress. So yeah, i'm feeling pretty crappy. I'm ready for the next step in my life, but i'm scared to see how i will react to it. I keep my sanity by reminding myself that i can handle any situation in which i find myself and that makes the load a little easier to bear.
i am able to say that i feel that i will be losing a few really close friends soon... i am going thru the process of looking around and getting rid of the dead weight... what happens if afterwards there's no one left?
I've been feeling like crap lately... and that's an understatement. The thing that sux is that i'm not at liberty to say why in this forum. My *other* journal is seeing a lot of action these days... a lot more than i'm getting, but i digress. So yeah, i'm feeling pretty crappy. I'm ready for the next step in my life, but i'm scared to see how i will react to it. I keep my sanity by reminding myself that i can handle any situation in which i find myself and that makes the load a little easier to bear.
i am able to say that i feel that i will be losing a few really close friends soon... i am going thru the process of looking around and getting rid of the dead weight... what happens if afterwards there's no one left?
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Here's What They Really Think of You (c) Ice Cube
him: query:
him: where do your fashionable male friends shop?
me: i don't have any of those
him: wow.
him: damn.
me: we're not those type of ppl
him: uh.
him: so you guys just wake up and stink?
This is a convo i had with a friend of mine recently. To say I was a bit hurt by the assumption that not being fashionable was the equivalent of emitting a foul odor would be an understatement. But it made me really look at myself and the ppl i know.
The truth of the matter is that we are not "fashionable". I mean we're not bums either, but i don't think you'd find any of my close friends decked out in the latest *insert top designer name here* gear. The people i know for the most part aren't into things like that and could care less what people have on. It's just not how we roll. I wondered if maybe that was a bad thing when i realized that people i chill with are some of the most caring, open, spiritual, talented people i've ever met. I wouldn't trade them for all the *insert top designer name here* gear in the world.
him: query:
him: where do your fashionable male friends shop?
me: i don't have any of those
him: wow.
him: damn.
me: we're not those type of ppl
him: uh.
him: so you guys just wake up and stink?
This is a convo i had with a friend of mine recently. To say I was a bit hurt by the assumption that not being fashionable was the equivalent of emitting a foul odor would be an understatement. But it made me really look at myself and the ppl i know.
The truth of the matter is that we are not "fashionable". I mean we're not bums either, but i don't think you'd find any of my close friends decked out in the latest *insert top designer name here* gear. The people i know for the most part aren't into things like that and could care less what people have on. It's just not how we roll. I wondered if maybe that was a bad thing when i realized that people i chill with are some of the most caring, open, spiritual, talented people i've ever met. I wouldn't trade them for all the *insert top designer name here* gear in the world.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don’t ask why
It’s not a question
But a lesson learned in time
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf of
Good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth
It was worth all the while
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
I don't know how to put it any more perfectly than that. I feel like i'm about to graduate from high school again... so much to look forward to, so much to leave behind. There's so much uncertainty and yet, it promises to be the most exciting time of my life. i've made and lost friends and learned to see the good and bad in people. I've seen people grow and seen some people stay the same. And i wouldn't change any of it for anything. It's helped me to be who i am today and it means everything to me.
So to those of you who may read this, if i know you, thank you for helping me grow. For those i don't know, thanks for reading about my growth. It all means so much to me.
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don’t ask why
It’s not a question
But a lesson learned in time
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf of
Good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth
It was worth all the while
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
I don't know how to put it any more perfectly than that. I feel like i'm about to graduate from high school again... so much to look forward to, so much to leave behind. There's so much uncertainty and yet, it promises to be the most exciting time of my life. i've made and lost friends and learned to see the good and bad in people. I've seen people grow and seen some people stay the same. And i wouldn't change any of it for anything. It's helped me to be who i am today and it means everything to me.
So to those of you who may read this, if i know you, thank you for helping me grow. For those i don't know, thanks for reading about my growth. It all means so much to me.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Is it over yet?
This week is dragging by for a short week. I can't do this much longer... thankfully it's Thursday.
There's really nothing going on in my life but i felt compelled to type up something. I am starting to seriously consider staying with my sister for a few weeks. A lot of folks close to me are starting to see the toll that everything is taking on me and i probably do need to be isolated for a bit. Unfortunately she lives in the middle of nowhere so that really isn't an option. i think i'm gonna smoke and drink my way thru it and wake up sometime in the future.
In other news, i'm starting to get things together for the move. I got some folks to help me with my little issues i have with putting together furniture so hopefully that'll take some stress off. I've also started packing some of the stuff i know i don't need (i.e. winter clothes). I was talking to a friend about the "tell all" entry i had planned for after i move. LOL. It seemed like a good idea but i might skip it. 9 times outta 10 my feelings don't matter, so why go outta my way to tell my side of the story? Those that know, feel me... the rest... please see the title of the blog
This week is dragging by for a short week. I can't do this much longer... thankfully it's Thursday.
There's really nothing going on in my life but i felt compelled to type up something. I am starting to seriously consider staying with my sister for a few weeks. A lot of folks close to me are starting to see the toll that everything is taking on me and i probably do need to be isolated for a bit. Unfortunately she lives in the middle of nowhere so that really isn't an option. i think i'm gonna smoke and drink my way thru it and wake up sometime in the future.
In other news, i'm starting to get things together for the move. I got some folks to help me with my little issues i have with putting together furniture so hopefully that'll take some stress off. I've also started packing some of the stuff i know i don't need (i.e. winter clothes). I was talking to a friend about the "tell all" entry i had planned for after i move. LOL. It seemed like a good idea but i might skip it. 9 times outta 10 my feelings don't matter, so why go outta my way to tell my side of the story? Those that know, feel me... the rest... please see the title of the blog
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
It's good to be here
What a weekend... and that's all i'mma say about that.
I'm glad to be back in DC though. I know that much. I don't want to live here forever... but there are much worse places.
I managed to leave my keys in the rental car so i am at Nate's mercy until they are retrieved. Hopefully that will happen soon. My home situation is stressful but i don't think that it'll be this way much longer. I have to keep reminding myself that i created this situation so i must live with it. But i have definitely realized that i will not be doing the roommate thing at least not with folks i don't know.
But you live and you learn.
What a weekend... and that's all i'mma say about that.
I'm glad to be back in DC though. I know that much. I don't want to live here forever... but there are much worse places.
I managed to leave my keys in the rental car so i am at Nate's mercy until they are retrieved. Hopefully that will happen soon. My home situation is stressful but i don't think that it'll be this way much longer. I have to keep reminding myself that i created this situation so i must live with it. But i have definitely realized that i will not be doing the roommate thing at least not with folks i don't know.
But you live and you learn.