You know, one thign that I hate the most about me is that no matter how upbeat I try to remain, there are times when I get down on myself and it seems to take forever for me to shake it. I remember that there was a time when i seemed to have friends all over the place. Now I have a few, none of which ever really bother to call or visit or email.. I mean hell I could be dead and I don't think some of them would notice. I used to feel like it was my duty to keep in touch with folks, to call and check in... now i pretty much have a "Fuck em" mentality... Is that harsh? Probably. But how many years do you work at a one sided relationship? I feel like if people want to be bothered they'll let me know, and the ones that reach out to me I reach out to as well. I am a firm believer in karma. I think that i have a good soul and i believe that that entitles me to good things. By wasting time on things that don't provide me with the good, I'm wasting karma... so fuck it.

I know that I probably seem pretty negative right now, but that's just what I'm feeling, I can't and I won't apologize for my feelings. I'm tired of people hurting me and making me feel guilty for their short comings. I'm over that... Let them deal with their own karma.