Prince

Tonight

Less than 12 hours

I am extremely excited

That is all for now

In my life there's been heartache and pain

I don't really have too much to say, but i've felt compelled to make an entry. My apartment is just starting to feel like home. Among my loserish qualities that include: only eating cereal out of a deep bowl and the need to use utensils with handles that are not metal, is the part of me that takes forever to feel comfortable unpon moving into a new apartment. Even if i clean up as soon as i get tbere is takes me a minute to really feel like it's home.

i really enjoy my new neighborhood. I can see that i won't be doing much driving too and that is a huge plus! Being right across the street from the metro is an amazing thing

On the down side, my drinking has once again skyrocketed. i'd like to think that once school starts i'll "focus" but i don't really know if that'll happen. It's to the point where i was in the drugstore, sick from a cold and angry with the medicine selection because you couldn't take it if you consumed alcohol. I often wonder if i am "self medicating" again to overcompensate for my ADD. As a result i've put myself back on the Ritalin. Hopefully i'll be able to get an appointment with a doctor as soon as school starts so that i can renew my perscription. I guess when i lived with brooks i felt it was ok to drink because he was drinking with me. now that he's quit, i'm becoming very aware of just how much i drink and how much i think about drinking.

Off to make pina coladas

Growth

How do you grow if you continue to pursue negativity? The constant need for one upsmanship is tired and old. You are not growing because you choose to remain in the same place.

Relax, Relate, Release.

Reminisce

I went up to my school today to take care of some last minute stuff. I had a quick flashback to Hampton. It was registration and there were tons of freshmen on campus. It was so fun to see the excitement on their faces. It was so typical... some were trying to ditch their parents, some were clinging for dear life.

I remember going off to college like it was yesterday, it's hard to believe that was 11 years ago. For all the lines and bs that i put up with at Hampton college was an amazing experience. I hope those freshmen have the fun times i had, without all the drama.

I Got Some Shit to Say

There are a lot of things that i can't tolerate, hell i talk about that shit here on a daily basis. But there is one thing that i have always hated and that has always rubbed me the wrong way.

I cannot stand a fairweather friend. Friends are there with you thru thick and thin. They have your back through any situation. They don't disappear when times get rough and miraculously reappear when the storm clouds disappear. People that care about you don't talk shit about you behind your back and are at least man enough to contact you on a regular basis, not just when things start getting better, and they damn sure don't go to a third part source for info on you.

To avoid any confusion... yes i am addressing a situation between my former roommates. Yes I know that the reason for the fair weatherness will be blamed on me (i.e. If Mo wasn't such a bitch we coulda been friends all along) but truth be told... i don't give a damn.

For almost a year, I was made to feel like i was the bad person because i chose to make a decision. As a result i endured rude comments, disrespect and overall discomfort. Did i make y'all feel uncomfortable in the process? Of course, and for that i apologize. But i didn't deserve 80% of the shit i went through, and 2 of us know it. But i shouldered the responsibility for it and continued to do my best to keep shit going. You on the other hand chose to treat us like minor annoyances in your day. Sure, if i wasn't around you'd speak to him, but because my presence made you so ill, you had to treat him like shit too for the sake of getting back to me.

Today he's "your guy" but two weeks ago you would walk past him without speaking? That shit is hella lame if you ask me.

GZ, congrats man. I know you aren't "there" yet, but you're definitely on the way. You and I have been thru it in the short amount of time i've known you and i wouldn't change a thing

DK, congrats for you too. You have found someone who you truly love and who you can build with on a spiritual level. That shit is real and i wish you all the best on it.

I got 3 more days and then i'm all about school.... The loose ends are tying up nicely

Peace

Why is it that...

Everytime i'm like all happy and what not my momma has to bring me down to earth?

So i'm unemployed right blah blah blah. Anyway i'm just getting the last set of bills for the old apt and i basically put myself in a position where for the sake of everyone's sanity i said i'd take care of the bills... but i'm unemployed lol. Long story short i tried to bum some loot from my mom and she quickly told me what she thought about me, my situation and a buncha other stuff.

On the one hand it was kinda funna cuz she's cute when she gets to cussing people out and threatening to call people, but at the same time it hurt because she was absolutely right. I'm too nice and concerned with other people's happiness for my own good, especially those that don't give a damn in return.

In so many words she said "too damn bad" and now i am off to find my way out of my own mess. Check ebay soon for some of my prized possessions!!!

Today I Can Smile

Not for my own happiness, but for the happiness of someone else. Words cannot express the joy that i feel right now, but i am glowing on the inside.

Things around me are so hectic but these new developments have brought me peace. Y'all can clown my fung shui but that shit is working!!!! (bitches)

As for last weekend... it was a perfect precursor to what will be a wonderful week! I'm really starting to realize how much my "internet friends" mean to me. hell i've even stopped callin them "internet friends"! These folks look out for me for real and that means a lot. I've got a good support system of family and friends and i'm thankful.

but enough mushiness! friday night was hot... literally. Sha's soy implants sprung a leak... but she did have enough strength to inform us about famine in Africa. I also learned about Soul Outlets... it was truly amazing to say the least.